


Happy?

by whatfandom



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 03:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2175675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatfandom/pseuds/whatfandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The same story from different POV's. Unrequited love is painful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Will Be Happy For Him

There are multiple reasons why I cannot love Brendon Urie.   
For starters, I am poison. He would be the best person for me, but I would kill him. I am poison and death and nothing he deserves. I am seriously fucked up; completely and utterly fucked up.   
Second of all, he’s my best friend. It simply would not work. He’s my best friend and when he got tired of me, ultimately leaving me forever in every way possible, I would die.   
So, I’ll let him get married. And he will be happy with Sarah. No matter what, that’s what I want. He needs to be happy and I can’t give him that.   
But I will be his best man, and, because he’s an open book, I will not let myself read into his looks to me, accompanied by a smile that he gives no one else.   
He is happy and I will be happy for him as he says “I do” and kisses his now wife. I will not let myself cry. I refuse to feel myself break as their lips lock in one final seal.   
They are happy and I will be happy for him.


	2. I Would Be Happier

He does not love me and I know this. Ryan Ross is my best friend and nothing more and I know this. I do, I really do.   
That’s what I tell myself at 4 am when I wake up hard all over from the vivid dreams of him. I thought I was a better actor when Spencer comes up to me and stares into my eyes and I know that he knows. We hold a conversation with our eyes, Spencer afraid to say the wrong thing aloud and me afraid to say anything at all. He gives me this look, but I already know I shouldn’t be getting engaged to Sarah. Now the way Ryan looked at me when I told them. He looked so… Hurt, but before I could ask him with my eyes he had hardened over with a sugar sweet, tooth rooting smile and asked if he could help me pick out a ring for her. I always dreamed of shopping for an engagement ring with each other, but for him instead of her.   
Sometimes (all the time) I really don’t understand Ryan.   
I am happy with Sarah, but I’d be happier with Ryan.


End file.
